The other day I was waiting for Randall at the Co-op. I'd been for a fasting blood test, (which I passed, in spite of not studying!) and we were going to break-fast together.

As I sat there drinking my coffee and pretending to read my book I watched the people. There was a group of older ladies sitting together. They were five grey haired women, listening to one of the bunch read out their horoscopes from the morning paper. The reader was apparently very amusing, and they'd all burst into laughter occasionally. They seemed to be having a great time.

It made me a little sad.

I thought, who will be there for me when I'm old. Who are the other little old ladies that I'll be able to spend the morning with, laughing and killing time.

It still makes me a little sad.

I think, who's there for me NOW, before I'm old.

I read a sad, sad statistic in the Reader's Digest. It said that only 15% of 2 parent families get by on one salary. Only 15% of all the families in Canada are like us; one parent working, and the other staying at home. We used to be a "traditional" family. I don't think there is such a thing anymore.

You know, I wouldn't mind, so much, being "Laura Petrie" if there was a "Milly" over the back fence next door. Used to be women had bridge parties in the afternoon, or Tupperware parties, or got together to perm each other's hair... Used to be the normal, acceptable thing to do your tidy up chores in the morning, and then pop over next door for a cup of coffee. Used to be the ones who got a job were strange, unsettled creatures up to no good. There used to be a certain shame in not being home to send the children off to school and make them a hot lunch to come home to, and be there with cookies and milk after school and supper in the oven....

Now I'm the one who's strange. People don't know what to do with me! "You don't work?" "What do you do?" The worst thing is that there doesn't seem to be alot of people like me out there. Or, should I say, Not out there.

I'll be 42 in a month. Women my age are working. They have a career or at least a job. If they had children when I did, in my mid 20's, then their children are starting to graduate from school and they've long since ended maternity leave. The women my age who aren't working, are the ones who waited til their late 30's to have children. If they're home it's because they're waiting for their toddlers to get established at school so they can get back to work; get back to their lives.

Sitting in the Co-op was a very lonely thing.

If there are no Milly's here now, will they be there when I'm old?