Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Vertically Challenged
I think I am vertically challenged.
I am also horizontally challenged, but I'm working on that.
I began to suspect I was height deficient when I couldn't reach the toothpaste.
We were newly-weds, though, and I thought maybe he was just teasing.
Putting the toothpaste on the top shelf in the cabinet like that.
Then it was the mini skirts.
They were too short for good Christian girls to wear.
I could never see what the problem was.
They always came well below my knee.
Later I complained that my upper arm hurt.
From the bruising.
From banging against the doorknobs.
Suddenly everyone had to measure themselves against the door to see where the doorknob came.
(You've probably just gone to check too.)
Normal people seem to hit the doorknob with their forearms.
Recently it's been trousers and shorts.
I bought a pair of trousers that were just exactly the right length!
I was surprised, but pleased.
Then I read the tag.
They were "capris".
They're supposed to come mid-calf.
Normal people shorts are capris to me.
There ought to be a special sticker that I can put on my license plate so that I can park closer to the mall entrance.
You just have to follow me around my kitchen for a day to realize how handicapped I am.
Drag the chair here.
Kick the stool there.
Stretch.
Reach.
It's not too bad these days.
All the children have long since joined the ranks of the gloating tall.
Get that for me will you?
Put this away.
But someday this too shall cease to be.
I need to devise a strategy for when the tall people leave home.
posted by Lauralea | 11:37 AM
9 Comments:
"I am also horizontally challenged, but I'm working on that."
8¬0
;-)
Can I suggest this.
When it says "This product is zerorated for persons who are entitled to exemption" what does it mean? Exemption from what? If I moved to England would I, because of my disability (to reach high places) be entitled to exemption? Maybe from dusting the tops of pianos, wardrobes and window frames? I'm already exempted from changing lightbulbs. Is that included?
: )
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
No, no, you aren't "disabled", you're "differently abled".
in my house, neither I nor my husband are vertically challenged, but my dear mother is. In my house, we put everyday-use stuff like mixing bowls on the very top shelf of the cupboards. Needless to say, I don't really notice it until my mom comes over and desperately tries to reach things up there.
I have fond memories of her always scampering up on the kitchen counter to reach things in the cupboard when I was a kid.
LOL @ Toni. That may just be what you need Lauralea, if only it came bigger so you could grab large jars and stuff!
One nice thing about being short is that nobody ever asks me to put stuff away. I have never heard the phrase "could you put that down there for me?"
Don't worry, in about 5 years you'll have the grandkids starting and they'll need the stool too.
I thought I was reading a post by Madeline!
Lorianne;
Actually I do ask her to put stuff in the bottom shelves, or in the bottom part of the fridge. Otherwise it means I've got to get down on all fours to put away a bowl, or reach something in the back of the fridge.
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